Relationship Issues
Pre-marital Counseling
With the Indian economy growing at a frenetic pace over the last decade, there has been a distinct change in the income levels, lifestyle and aspirations of the Indian youth. This has had a direct bearing on the perceptions of Indian couples towards life, their value systems and the way they want to live their life. This is also true about youth, in most parts of the world. As they approach marriage, important decisions need to be taken regarding what they expect from their partners and whether their personality and aspirations match with each other. These evaluations need to be taken before the sacred knot is tied so that they are better prepared to face the rigours of living in this fast paced world and yet hold on to the age old traditions of a healthy and nurturing marital life. Awareness of obstacles one faces during life, specially when two individuals decide to get together and merge their goals, dreams and ambitions, the changes one may expect to undergo when faced with new situations like parenthood and balancing between maintaining a good family life and a well paid job are reality issues that may sometime upset the dreams of many a young couple. One needs to also understand the difference between male and female sexuality and feel comfortable. In countries like India matchmaking is still done on the basis of horoscopes and religious and financial backgrounds of the two families. Expert advice and pre-marital counseling help while making these important decisions.
Pre-marriage counseling helps couples discuss crucial issues, viz. family planning, religious practices and customs, beliefs, habits, financial and social values, role of in-laws, duties and responsibilities etc. During the counseling session, the couple may also learn problem solving skills and the art of healthy communication. With premarital counseling, the couple will be able to tie the nuptial knot with more confidence and maturity and start their new relationship on a more sound footing.
- What are the questions one should have before marriage?
- What should one know about the spouse to be?
- What should one expect out of marriage?
- What are the areas in which adjustments may have to be made?
- How does one finally ensure mutual respect and a healthy marriage?
Marriage is all about respect, love and acceptance. Communicate honestly, assertively and caringly. Talk to each other about feelings, expectations, hopes, disappointments. Give feedback. Listen - do not just hear. Weed out double standards. Discover areas of common interest and make the time to indulge in shared activities. Give each other the space and the freedom to be different and to do some things separately, and respect the other's right to privacy. Trust and be trustworthy.
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